"So What Do You Do?"
I didn't understand the deeper implication of this question until I arrived to Hong Kong. About 95% of my conversations with expats, locals, and those locals who have studied abroad ended up asking me this question, "so what do you do?" Its been 3 months since my arrival and its difficult to remember the last time when someone who hasn't asked me that question. So, what does this question really mean?
There are a few different scenarios and types of people I've encountered in Hong Kong.
1) The Chauvinistic Arrogant @-holes - These type of individuals ask this question to boost their ego. They want to feel superior. When they ask this question, it makes them feel better. These type of people are waiting for you to ask them the same question in return so they can boast about their accomplishments, fancy titles, and high hierarchal status.
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| "I am not arrogant. I am just better than you" |
Typical Conversation:
"So what do you do? ... Hmmm, I see... so do you enjoy that? (waiting for the same question to be asked) Well, I am a Investment Banker/ Doctor/ Lawyer."
2) The Social Climbers/ Utilizers- These type of individuals are trying to find out if you are useful to them. They try to figure out how you can be utilize to their needs in terms of either financial, career, networking, etc.
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| "Hmm.. How can I make good use of this person" |
Two different typical conversation scenarios:
1)"So what do you do?... Oh, you are a partner at the Big Four? I have a son who needs a job. Do you know any one that can help me?"
2) "So what do you do?... Oh, you work at a restaurant? Oh okay. Nice to meet you. "(End Of Conversation)
3) The Flakes- these type of individuals act & perform as if they are trying to be your friends, but they don't really care. They just want to talk to someone to appear busy, they are just bored, don't want to appear a social outcast, or unsociable individual.
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| "Ask me again later if I care" |
Typical Conversation: "So what do you do? Oh, wow thats amazing! Can you tell me more about it? Do you want to meet up again for a cup of coffee?" (A few days later, still no call)
4) The Favor Seekers - These type of individuals are willing to help you and care about you. However, they expect something in return. One day, they will ask you for a favor and you are obliged to help them.
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| "Since I saved you, you owe me one" |
Typical Conversation: "So what do you do? I know someone who runs a company in the same industry as you. I can connect you guys if you want. (Few months later... Hey Bro, I need a favor...)"
Out of the four mentioned above, the most interesting type are favor seekers, which probably consist the most types in Hong Kong. The reason being is because Hong Kong is based on a Chinese element called "GuanXi 关系" or "relationships". Its very important to people in Hong Kong as Hong Kong is already a small city. It relies on relationships to complete complex tasks. (Will dedicate a whole post on GuanXi later)
Let's try to understand why the social life in Hong Kong is like this. 1)Hong Kong has been colonized for over hundred years by British Rule. 2) Hong Kong was and now is part of China. 3)Hong Kong is the financial hub of Asia. In a very simple analysis, when you combine these factors, you have a super snobby, arrogant, chauvinistic society. You develop a unique culture that wouldn't exist in any other part of the world.
If you have just moved to Hong Kong, or planning to come here, you need to develop a very mature mindset to deal with people who have conformed into the societal norms. Its very easy to get sucked into this type of culture. If you want to be successful or get ahead in Hong Kong, chances are you will conform into societal norms. Its either you are in or out. There is no in between.
Like In the climax of the film Star Wars Episode III: Revenge of the Sith, Darth Vader says to Obi-Wan Kenobi, "If you're not with me, then you're my enemy."
After many of you reading this may think why would any one want to live in Hong Kong. For some individuals, they enjoy this type of social lifestyle. While others, they cope with this by seeking individuals similar to themselves. There are many other attractive aspects Hong Kong has to offer such as food, hobbies, etc. Although these are the most common types of individuals you tend to meet in Hong Kong, it doesn't mean that they aren't individuals who don't fall into these categories. You just need to find those who actually doesn't care about what you do.
